Carol's Story
It is my understanding that the medical label "Panic Attack" didn't come about until 1980.
In 1979 I experienced my first panic attack while in the shower.
It took years before I could take a shower on a regular basis, and then closing my eyes was not an option.
My second attack, occurred while at the circus with my family, sent me to the emergency room where the attending physician said alcohol caused the attack.
The Lord used this misdiagnosis to deliver me from alcoholism.
Fourteen years later freedom from the panic attacks came.
In the early years paramedic's came to assist during an attack. My memory reminds me of the fear in my boys eyes as they witnessed the terror in my face drained of blood. While feelings of leaving my body in cold stark terror caused me to scream for it to stop: sometimes racing throughout the house thinking that that would keep my body from being lifted up into this horrendous fear.
My heart raced faster and faster. Once a paramedic commented "she has no blood pressure." When the attacks would subside my body would slightly convulse. Sometimes just speaking would be an effort with words and thoughts jumbled.
When I became born again I felt bold to stop taking Xanax and anti-depressants issued years after the panic attacks started.
When I surrendered to the Lord He did dramatic things which allowed in some trust in Him.
Other areas of my life were being changed. God challenged me to trust Him further. Relief would flood my entire being when He applied a certain Scripture. Probably my most used Scripture for the work He has done is Philippians 4:13. One which gave me such delightful hope and freedom is Romans 12:2.
The panic attacks continued. Not as frequent. When they happened I didn't scream or fight them. I clung to His Scripture.
My second to my last full attack occurred while alone in my tree house in the mountains.
Approximately two in the morning sounds from a music box woke me. Struggling to understand how it could be playing, a quiet voice said "He's here." "Who," I thought.
Then I felt the fear in the panic attack slide down on me. Clinging to the Lord for help He urged me to seek out a friend a short distance from the treehouse. Wrapping myself in a sleeping bag I walked the short path to Sarah's.
When Sarah saw the trouble in my face she immediately raised her arms commanding me to "Praise the Lord, and thank Him." I had no qualms obeying her.
Fear stripped away any reason to analyze any of God's methods.
Following her lead I raised my arms, like Sarah, and began thanking God.
The fear subsided. Just the residue intimidated me.
The last panic attack is as vivid. With enough time between the last two, to be totally off guard.
This one came when weak in sorrow after a close young friends suicide. Lying in bed this attack had a new twist.
Clinging onto support Scriptures I felt my capacity to breath being constricted. A quiet strong voice broke inside me saying "Get Dan." Dan is my husband.
Do not know if I actually called Dan from the doorway of the bedroom, or if he was walking by just then. But remember looking into his face asking for help. Dan said that my white face had terror all over it, and my words hardly audible. But Dan knew I needed HELP.
The next tells how fourteen years of panic attacks ended.
Praising Jesus did not end this demonic terror.
Praising Jesus allowed me His helping hand, but didn't give me the full range of His coverage. Dan gently held me with his right arm while making a fist with his left hand.
He raised his arm in an AUTHORITY POSE. He spoke the words given us in the Bible employing His power to cast out demons in the name of Jesus. I immediately felt the effects of this hold leave me. I liken it to a balloon slowly being filled with air.
Then the Lord flooded my mind with this truth:
"Carol I did not give you a Spirit of Fear." The Lord had been teaching me 2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV), and this bold awareness gave me a freedom that can only be best understood in Matthew 21:21& 22 where Jesus says ..."I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt,...but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."
It has been many years of freedom. Once, since then, a Spirit of fear overcame me in a different way. Calling on the trusted Scriptures didn't bring relief. Prayers with Dan didn't bring relief.
Finally I went upstairs to get away from it by going to sleep. But instead I internally screamed "Jesus-help." Immediately He answered me saying "Breathe Carol."
I did. It was gone. I laughed.
My faith increased with a boldness in HIS power to name and claim.
I do not have boldness-of-faith in all areas of my life. But in the above arena I do. Suppose we would be a walking puppet if we had instant boldness in every area of our lives, but God didn't create puppets.
Wouldn't have the sweet emotional flavor of mastering a divine Truth.
Sincere in Christ,
Carol E. Juhlin
cejuhlin@yahoo.com
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